In today’s society the roles of parents and children in the family institution are forgotten or none existent in the mainstream. Because of marriage break ups; single family homes, loose behavior, and premarital sex; kids are being raise by one half of the unit God put together to raise them. This causes a lot of things, especially in single mothering households where there is an absence of a dad.

I aim to investigate the roles of husbands and wives, parents and the roles of children as God wants us according to the Bible, to behave and conduct ourselves with the closes people to us…our families.

Godly Christian Marriage & Parenting Bible Study

Let us began this study in Genesis 1 v26-27
26And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
27So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

God made man in His own image and likeness and created them both male and female (both of them). And you can see how this took place in Genesis (2 v23-25) where Adam said this was bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh and a man would leave his own mother and father to cleave to his wife. Leaving mother and father is a big move. To leave your own parents to cleave to a stranger; is a serious move. And they became ONE FLESH.

To think about it; psychopaths argue with themselves, fight with themselves, etc, so to be arguing and fighting with your spouse, in the eyes of God, is just as psychopathic. The marriage has to be worked out; God is checking everyone out.

In Matthew (19 v3-9) the Pharisees came to tempt Jesus about marriage and divorce; and JESUS referred to the scriptures, the exact scriptures that we just read in Genesis. And what God put together Jesus said let no man put asunder. They positioned that question, is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for any cause, so that they could set Jesus up with verse seven…

7They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

8He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

9And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

The one law that Moses instituted on his own Jesus came and reversed it.  Jesus explains why Moses allowed men to divorce their wives; but Jesus clearly let’s us know it was never so from the beginning. In other words; that was never allowed or supposed to happen from the beginning.

So how do we deal with our spouses? Let’s see…

Ephesians 5 v22-25

22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as you would to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife; just like Jesus Christ is the head of the church. Be subject to your husbands, in everything. Now we have to be wise; if your husband is not all that smart you have to be smart for him (help meet); however a wife should not challenge her husband on every occasion.

And husbands are supposed to love their wives; to the point that Jesus loved the church; Jesus even gave His life for the church. Men have to ask themselves, will they do that for their wife? Will you take care of them as Jesus takes care of the church? That’s something all husbands have to ask themselves and be willing to do.

Bible Study on Godly Christian Marriage & Parenting

A good wife comes from the Lord and if you have a good wife; the Lord has shown you favor and it’s a good thing to obtain a wife, according to God; (I know some men still haven’t figure out why yet but it will drop on them one day (Proverbs 18 v22); and she is a crowd to her husband (Proverbs 12 v4).

1 Peter 3 v1-2

1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

2While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

Peter seconds what Paul wrote; about wives being in subjection to their own husbands (not to their pastor but to their own husband). It doesn’t mean women are lesser; it’s just the way the Lord has set it up. Men should not abuse this title especially since you don’t know where you will end up tomorrow, in Jesus Kingdom.

7Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Husbands dwell with your wife according to knowledge. Don’t use emotion or a false sense of authority; but knowledge, giving honor to the wife as the weaker vessel. Men are supposed to be in control of the situation with their wives and kids at all times. The moment you use emotion or too much of it rather, you lose control. Always use knowledge when dealing with your wife; knowledge is “know” how. Men must know how to dwell with their wife.

And you want to be wise so that your prayers are not hindered. And this is a true statement; God will not hear a prayer of a man who does not do well by his wife. You can read about why Peter said this by reading Malachi 2 v13-16 let’s have a look at it…

13And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.

Why has the Lord not regarded your offering or received it with good will at your hand?

14Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.

Isn’t this the wife of your covenant; and the Lord sits and watches your behavior towards this woman. You are treating your companion negatively, and then turning around asking the Lord to bless you. He will not, He will not even hear your prayers.

15And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.

The Lord makes it known that He made them one in the beginning as we read in the Genesis; and He had the ability to make two different beings; but He had a purpose. Do you notice we always revert back to the beginning when GOD made them one? Therefore men are supposed to take care of the family. Men that have kids and they run away from their responsibilities; they are worse than non-believers (1 Timothy 5 v1, 8).

What if you have a wife that is not in the Word or does not have the same understanding as you, or is in different faiths? Should you divorce? Not according to Jesus; remember He said any man that puts away (divorces) his wife for any reason other than fornication, commits adultery and causes her to commit adultery if she remarries.

Paul gave us an answer… 1^st Corinthians 7

¹²But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

 ¹³And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

 ¹⁴For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

 ¹⁵But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

 ¹⁶For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

What Paul is saying here is that if you have a wife who is not in your faith, not in your understanding level; don’t dismiss her and vice versa for the women and their husbands. If they leave you; you cannot bind them; but you should do everything in your Christian power to work out the marriage.

REMEMBER let it be done with knowledge (men)…

Let’s take a look at children and what is expected from God of them; and how parents are suppose to treat their children.

Ephesians 6 v1-4 says children are to obey their parents. And we know that is for what’s righteous. Parents aren’t supposed to tell children to walk through the fire; or hurt themselves; but if a parent says you can’t go to the dance; you should not be at the dance.

4And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

At the same token, parents are not supposed to provoke their children but are suppose to nurture their children and warn them of the Lord. If you do not obey your parents’ children; the Lord will put out the lamp of a disrespectful and disobedient child (Proverbs 20 v20). That means He will make such a child wonder through life in darkness or plain out kill them. Moses told the same thing in Exodus chapter 21

15And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death.

17And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.

Children are born learning so they will make some folly and bad moves; as wise loving parents, you are to correct them responsibly and out of love and knowledge.

Proverbs 22 v6, 15

6Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

15Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Tell a child what he should do; and when he is old; he or she will not depart from it. Sure they’ll have some mishaps; but they will remember the foundation instilled. Foolishness is in the mine of the child; but a little rod of correction, i.e. “whooping” them will drive it out.

I see families want to avoid giving their children a whooping or physical correction; but to withhold correction is to show hatred for your child (Proverbs 13 v24). If you don’t correct them; the bad kids will or the department of corrections …it’s your choice!

Proverbs 23 v13-14

13Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

14Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

Remember you are not beating your child to kill them or to inflict horrible pain; you should not correct them while your emotions are high; you are spanking, whooping, or beating them to correct that bad behavior. You can do the take away move; but humans learn best by having something go across their head. Millionaires are made by going through the trials of disappointments sometimes those disappointments is like getting burned. You get hit, but you get back up. Kids need the correction so they learn to avoid the bad behavior.

Godly Christian Marriage & Parenting

It needs to be done out of love. Little Johnny does not stop touching the stove because you took away his favorite apple sauce; he stops touching the stove because he nearly lost 2 fingers. It may be a tough lesson; but we learn from those best.

A beating won’t kill them; but it will deliver their soul from hell; if you do it out of love. Look at the beating God gave His own children Israel. They were sent into captivity for not obeying Him; not because He wants that; but because it is the only way to correct them. Same thing with the great tribulation that is coming upon the whole earth; it is to get everyone’s attention and to beat them up so they can correct their behavior before the Lord returns.

It should be done out of love; I heard that a lot growing up, “I’m doing this because I love you.”  I wondered what kind of love was this; as an adult I know and appreciate it much better.

This is the Godly role of parents and children. It is to love each other. If you cannot love your wife; your husband, your kids; how can you realistically love God? If you cannot obey your parents, even into their old age; how can you realistically say you will obey God? If you cannot listen to the Lord and obey His every command; how can you expect that from your own kids to obey you?

When you are dealing with your spouse, wives treat the husband as if they are your head as Christ is the head of the church. We treat Jesus with fear, honor, and respect. Husbands treat your wives with the love Jesus treats the church. Parents bring up children in the way the Lord brings up us in His word. Even when we do bad; the Lord still sends food; shines the sun, and sends rain to us. So even when your children make mistakes you are to have mercy.

When your husband makes a booboo; still make him dinner without spitting in it; and when your wife does wrong still rub her feet (with the good cream and a loving smile) and still give her the credit card to buy herself something nice (just put a limit on it).

Children; listen and obey your parents for it is good. My daddy and mommy told me growing up that they were my gods on earth. That God has put them in His place while we’re on the earth. I believed that and still do; children should treat and serve their parents as if they are treating and serving God. This is Godly Christian marriage and parenting.That’s with honor children. I hope this edifies everyone; and I pray God Speed that you are increased in Jesus Name.

Amen

 

Koko Ishe

BibleStudyMinistry.com